You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You peed on a flamingo?!?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
