who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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