You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
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My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
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The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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