I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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