paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
no, he came in my armpit
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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