i permit you to call me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
