She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
