I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
