fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
