i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize