I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
"it" just moved
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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