apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
