East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
