So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
