very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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