I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize