It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So squirting runs in the family.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
