Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
