OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
