we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
