I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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