I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
