one word: firstdatebathroomanal
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
