I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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