Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
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Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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