They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
