lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
