quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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