well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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