That's intense
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
