How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize