I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize