i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
