hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
