Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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