he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
