What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
