another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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