AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
