She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
