So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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