My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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