yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So apparently I’m into choking now
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