I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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