White coat. Heels.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
do herpes really smell.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
