So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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