I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
