I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
is that a dick in a sweater?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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