It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
