i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
