i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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