she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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